There are days when it seems like things aren’t going my way, or as I planned. Sometimes I believe that’s the universe trying to say something. Maybe it’s a timing thing. Maybe it’s a chemistry thing. Maybe both or neither. But there always a message in failure for me. Some sort of reason or logic behind why things didn’t work out as expected.
My only wish is that I knew if that was the universe telling me “not at this moment” or “never will this work.” Because there are definitely dreams and desires close to my heart that I don’t think I’ll give up pursuing, ever. Regardless of how many times I couldn’t make it happen, my instinct tells me that it’s just a matter of “not now” that’s stopping me. The universe is telling me to do other things, at least for now. Go experience other things that will help prepare you to make this transition to what you want the most. No shortcuts, Miquelon. You have to earn this one.
It feels like that. It feels different from when I ran into this situation back in high school. Back then, it was a clear sign that “this ain’t happening”. It had support: others telling me it wouldn’t happen, but that it wasn’t because of me. Friends would inform me that it’s not what I deserve and that there’s something greater out there for me. It’s just a matter of timing and chemistry. You’ve gotta have both. (I’m pretty sure I learned that from “How I Met Your Mother”, which I should really stop watching for the third time. It’s messing with my reality — sometimes in hilarious ways. To me, at least.)
I’m blabbering again. Random and vague. Hiding behind a laptop. I’ll probably let it all out in song. In verses. In fact, if You lOok hard enoUgh, I already have. AcTUally, it would BE surprising if you did find it after looking, but if you know what to look for, it’d be quite easy. Even then, you’d still have to decipher what’s planted there when you find it.
What the “h” am I talking about?
C’mon, universe, work with me here.