Getting lost in the familiar.

I had a moment today while driving to work where I looked out my driver-side window and felt like I was in a different city. I took a deep breath in and transported myself, temporarily, to a Toronto I didn’t know. It was the same route, the same buildings, the same road and landmarks, but for that few deep breaths, it felt like I had arrived at a metropolis at the end of a road trip.

I’ve mentioned this sensation before in a couple of posts, and it’s something that always inspires and excites me when it happens. It’s like a discovery of something in plain sight that makes you smile and laugh at yourself because you’ve never noticed it before. It’s an exploration of the familiar and it can be scary and exhilarating when it happens. It’s an interesting shift in gears and all it takes is an open mind and the perception and perspective to notice it and jump into it.

You’ve actually done it before, I’m sure. It might have been something as simple as noticing that there’s a new poutine place in your neighbourhood, but then someone points out it has been there for months. Or maybe your usual route was blocked for construction, and you had to detour on unfamiliar roads. The detour feels like it takes forever to get through, but it’s not that much longer in reality. At those moments, you are temporarily opening up your perspective and mind and you’re experiencing the world you thought you knew for the first time. And that’s exciting.

Toronto is such a large and vibrant city that transforms with every hour and every change in where the sun is in the sky. I’ve been here for four years and I’ve barely scratched the surface of the neighbourhoods in which I’ve lived. I like to think that it’s because of the fact that I’m actively working and keeping busy, but I know that I could engage the explorer in me more. I bet there are tourists who know more about my city than I do and could probably even make better recommendations for food and entertainment in the city than I could.

I need to get lost in the familiar more. Perhaps a roaming staycation where I actually explore all I’ve wanted to explore in the city all my life. All the little shops in my neighbourhood and the neighbourhoods in my past deserve an expedition.

Who wants to discover locally with me?

– Mickey

Power of smoothies.

In the journey to a healthier me, I’ve finally made it to the last week of the P90X program. It just keeps getting better, as I’ve mentioned before, with gaining more strength, speed, and agility, losing a lot of weight at a healthy pace, and seeing my body at its healthiest so far, with definition and muscles in places I’d never thought I’d see.

One of my favourite things, however, from this whole program has been something I’ve had almost daily from the nutrition guide side of things: the smoothie. More accurately, the guide calls it a protein shake, but it’s one of the things I look forward to the most in my everyday meal consumption. I love it because it’s homemade, easy and quick to make, and most importantly, it’s freakin’ delicious. It’s like dessert for dinner (or lunch), making me feel like a kid not listening to the babysitter when I have it, except that there’s no worries of getting a timeout. (That never happened, but you get the picture.)

It’s an especially great choice for me since my schedule is so packed that I’m usually doing my workouts at night, which means my last meal of the day tend to be really late. And since I’m following the no-carbs-before-bed rule (or at least trying to do so, though it’s been more like two hours before bed instead of three) it’s become the perfect meal for my unusual hours.

I usually go for the strawberry-banana combination, but because of a lack of time to get more strawberries over the past couple of days, I’ve discovered the extremely delicious peanut butter-banana combo. (All of this is within the guidelines set out in the P90X nutrition guide. Awesome.) It has become my new instant favourite, and to make up for the lack of strawberries, I’ve been using more ice to make it more of a slushie than a smoothie.

But either way, it’s my favourite meal of the day, the easiest meal of the day, and a great way to start or finish my crazy-busy days. (Though I will say that it’s hard to top my homemade mini-pizzas — also nutrition guide approved — so I’ll call it a tie.)

Want to try it out? Here are my recipes (for my weight and activity level — make adjustments for you since this essentially yields two tall glasses)

Protein Shake
1 cup strawberries (alternative berries or 1tbsp peanut butter also work)
1 banana
1 cup skim milk
1 cup ice
2 scoops protein powder

Put ingredients in blender. Blend until smooth. Taste the magic.

– Mickey

Happy birthday, Dad.

So today was the big 55th birthday for my Dad. We celebrated at a small, quaint banquet hall, about 85 of us, and it was a very fun, early evening (which, after late night last night, was a part of what made it fun). The dinner was great, dessert (I assume) was delicious, but as you know, I’ve been pretty good with my nutrition and decided to skip the sweets. And as I mentioned yesterday, the entertainment was a lot of fun because it was my brother and his girlfriend alongside Arlene Paculan and myself playing a couple of Motown hits as a full band for my Dad. (He loves his Motown.)

I love doing events like this, mainly because it’s family and if you’ve been keeping up, you know how strong of a connection I have with them. But there’s two elements that I realized today that I really enjoy. The first, of course, is family. (See yesterday’s post for more on that.) The second is the actual setup of the event. I was in charge of the entertainment and music for the evening, so that meant turning a bare dance floor into a stage for a band. I’ve done this many, many times in the past, but today I realized, looking at it all, that this was a setup completely done by me. My brother and my Mom helped by acquiring equipment to bring to the venue, and my brother and his girlfriend assembled her drum kit, but I pieced it all together and made sure everything worked, pretty much on my own. Again, I’ve done this many times before, but for the first time I actually stepped back and thought to myself, “wow, this is what I can do.” This isn’t to boost my ego, and this doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s a complete team effort when it comes to events like this, but it’s just a nice realization of the fact that I can do things like this like it’s second nature, and that I’ve come this far and learned so much over the years to get here. It was a nice little moment.

And when it comes to family, well that’s pretty much the best part of it all. It’s so rejuvenating and fun to be in a room with so many people that you get along with and trust. What really stood out to me, though, was the clear growth of the family and the many first-time connections with the next generation kids of the family. Of course I was ecstatic to see my littlest best friend, my little niece, as I love her to pieces, but I got to meet my cousins’ new babies and see how much some of their kids have already grown up. My favourite part about that all is that the trust was there, even though it was the first time meeting. It’s like they knew that I was family, even though they never really see me at all. It was such an amazing experience, and the bonus of it all is seeing them all play together. I was immediately brought back to the days when I was playing with my cousins at that age, and the cycle of it all had never seemed so clear than in that moment. Beautiful.

Happy birthday, Dad. Without you, none of this that I’m writing would have ever come to exist. I hope that I can continue to make connections like you have as I experience more and more of this life. Thanks for the great party.

– Mickey

Simon’s Five Second Impulse Rule.

To start, a very happy birthday to my dear friend and former roommate bro, Simon. This post is dedicated to him and everything that he taught me about the universe within and without, both directly and indirectly. Here’s to many more years of learning something new everyday through meditation.

And as a tribute to the birthday boy, I’m going to share my thoughts about one of his recent posts, which explains an idea that I know I’ll be trying sometime in the next few weeks, if not days. His post speaks of the idea of following your impulses within a five second window. He states that if you’re suddenly inspired to do something that you’ve been meaning to do for a while but kept putting off, then decide to do it within five seconds. The reasoning behind this is that the brain likes patterns and the status quo. Like much of nature, it follows the path of least resistance.

And I couldn’t agree more. In relation to this, I’ve read an article about consumers who were surveyed a fee days after making a significant purchase at a big box store. The results showed that people who made their purchase on impulse were much happier with their decision than those who decided to wait, think, and decide later. So it doesn’t surprise me that it would be easier to follow through with an impulse in a short amount of time as opposed to a longer, pondering amount of time.

Now that’s not to say that all impulse-based decisions should be done in five seconds. There are definitely choices you have to make in life that needs to be fleshed out, split into a pros and cons list. But when you have the sudden urge to make that phone call, buy that random girl a coffee, or say “I love you”, challenge your brain to grow and do it in five seconds. We have all been in situations where the heart races, the adrenaline pumps, and you just want to let all your feelings be known and if we wait too long, we feel like it’s not worth it to say. But if you don’t take the risk, the reward will never be discovered and achieved.

Take risks. Follow your impulses and motivations within five seconds and see where the universe takes you. I’ll be doing the same thing (and I’ll let y’all know how it goes.)

Happy birthday, Simon

– Mickey

You versus you.

We are each our own greatest friend and strongest enemy. Our minds are capable of such great achievements and such amazing feats, and yet they are also the reason that we think that we can’t do something or overcome an obstacle. Sure, there are actual obstacles and obstructions that stop our physical body from getting where we need to go, but the biggest block we encounter happens within ourselves.

Getting to Week 11 of the P90X program made me realize just how much my mind was stopping me from hitting my goals. My brain was saying that I couldn’t do anymore reps, but more and more I’ve been able to turn that part of my mind off and push through those extra couple of movements. That’s not to say that I ignore my body when it tells me that pushing any further could hurt something. If you’re listening close enough, you can tell when it’s your mind telling you it’s too painful and when it’s your body trying to protect itself from strain or injury. Remember, it’s never worth it to push your body to the brink of injury. It’s a gradual process when it comes to working out and rushing it will just set you back when you get injured because of it.

But it doesn’t just apply to working out. You can be your biggest enemy, preventing yourself from reaching your goals other than the physical fitness objectives you may have. Maybe you’re just trying to get your house organized and it seems overwhelming. Your mind tells you that you can’t do it. You don’t have enough time. There’s too much to get done and you should just give up because there are easier things that are more fun to do. Ironically, your mind also becomes your biggest ally when you realize that breaking up a seemingly impossible and large task into smaller, more manageable pieces makes the goal completely reasonable and very possible to accomplish. I’ve written about being a friend to yourself more often, but there are a lot of times when you need to be more than friend and to be a champion to yourself.

You are simultaneously a superhero, an arch-nemesis, and someone in need of rescuing. Rescue yourself rather than battle yourself, and you’ll find a completely new universe of achievement, learning, and growth in front of you. Tell yourself that you can do it. Get a little aggressive with yourself and push a little harder toward your goals than you normally would. Make it a point to do that one extra rep, that extra 10 seconds, that one extra goal that you were saving for tomorrow instead. Do it today. Again, it’s a process. It’s gradual. It’s incremental. But that’s okay, because some of the most effective, long-lasting changes that we can instil in ourselves are the ones that happen over time. Endurance is something you build and it in turn helps you to build more of it.

You’re going to battle yourself, just like everyone else does. What’s important is to remember that your greatest ally against yourself is yourself. Get on your own positive side and grow. You are your own champion. Don’t forget it.

– Mickey

Lose and lose again. It’s good for you.

With the Jays losing their season opener, I realized that there was themed bookend to my day. I started out with an early shift where a very un-busy workplace meant some of us watching Starcraft II tournament live streams from Korea. And the night brought a Jays loss before bed.

Losing. It’s the best thing to happen to you, almost every time. One of my friends at work was talking game strategies with another friend and they were trying to figure out how to counter certain enemy strategies. The better of the two mentioned that losing is the best way to improve at any game. As long as you’re paying attention, every loss is another lesson in what not to do to win. And eventually, you’ll have lost in so many possible ways that the only way left that you know how to play is to win.

It’s how I got better at some major skills I use in my many crafts. It’s how I got better at Call of Duty: Black Ops 2. It’s how I got better at rebutting points and providing sound advice. I had to make a lot of mistakes and lose many battles of many minds in order to grow and to learn firsthand what a losing strategy feels like, as opposed to just reading a tutorial. And now I carry both the confidence for the win, but the openness to losing, because every loss is a huge opportunity to re-analyze what you’re doing, and to figure out what patterns of behaviour to break.

Lose. Don’t be afraid to lose. Be excited for the fact that anything can happen to anyone at anytime and that you’ll never get near your own expectations if you never give it a shot.

Sure there’s risk. But with risk comes reward. And a loss always has the reward of reflection.

– Mickey

25% Complete. Thanks again.

I’m in that weird headspace right now. You know, that headspace where you start to think about the flow of time and how it can feel as if this year has been going by so fast while simultaneously coasting like a lazy river. I think writing everyday has helped to put me in this mind-state, and it’s a little unbelievable to me. I mean that in a great way.

So much has happened in the last three months, some of it due to planning, drive, and luck, and some of it completely caught me by surprise. It’s all part of this new life I set out to live when I created that vision board before the end of last year, and absolutely regret none of it, nor would I change any of it. I know it’s a little early to write as if it’s a year-end review, but as I’ve mentioned before, sometimes we just have to go through these checkpoints in order to make sure that our focus stays true.

For instance, I’m nearing the end of my first real run of the P90X fitness and nutrition program. I can’t believe the changes that I see and feel everyday, both in body and mind, and when I look back to mid-January and think about who I was in terms of my health and fitness, it’s astounding. I’m starting to look and feel the way that I’ve always wanted to when it comes to body image. And to imagine that just at the beginning of this year I was eating pizzas by the whole, eating way too many chocolate bars and potato chips, and just succumbing to every craving that I had. I wasn’t exercising, I spent hours in bed watching movies and re-runs on my days off. Lethargy at its finest, even though I was in denial about it. I’ve always been energetic, especially when I have to perform on stage, but I wasn’t letting that energy out, really. With working out everyday for more than two months behind me, my energy has not only been used to exercise, but it has also grown exponentially so that I have more energy in everything that I do. At work, at home, at play, I’m definitely more focused and feel like I can do anything I want. In fact, sports have been crossing my mind continually, and not just because I’m excited about the Leafs and the Blue Jays. I want to play. I want to compete. And even though I just want to have fun, I want to win.

And again, I have you, the reader, to thank for my continuing growth in both the habit of writing and fitness. To see the likes, the followers, and the occasional comment pop up in my notifications and my e-mail means so much to me, mainly because other than sharing my posts through the automatic “publicize” feature of WordPress, I don’t promote this blog as much as I could (or should). It continues to grow and slowly be shared by friends and strangers without any sort of push to do so.

I can only imagine what would happen if I really tried. I once said that about my health, and look where it got me. *wink*

Thank you again for continuing with me on this journey. One quarter down, three to go. It’s working.

– Mickey

Laughing makes everything better.

I love to laugh. People who know me know that the easiest way to spot me in an audience is to just listen for my laugh. It’s loud, full, boisterous, and definitely contagious. When I go see plays, the cast and/or crew who know me will often joke that I should get free tickets to the show every night just for the laughter. (I’d take that deal in an instant if it ever followed through.) It’s my favourite workout. It’s the best core exercise, especially when you break out into the laughter that doesn’t even have any sound. You’re laughing so hard that you can’t breathe and your gut is on fire in the best way.

They say it’s the best medicine (other than real medicine) but I also think that laughter just makes things better in general. I notice it whenever I’m interacting with someone, say goodbye with a laugh, and then start up another interaction right after. That energy and vibrance carries through into the next conversation, and it can carry a streak for a surprisingly long run sometimes. I definitely notice it when I play competitive video games. If I’m on a team where everybody’s a joker and there’s nothing but laughing at nonsense non-stop, I play at my best. It’s as if the relaxing, and simultaneously energizing result of laughter makes me focus on my performance without trying to focus on my performance. “Have fun with it” is one of the best ways I can describe it. It’s not as if you don’t care if you win or lose, because you still want to win. But it’s just that it puts you in that state of euphoria where even losing isn’t so bad. And where there’s no pressure to win, there’s a place of serenity, full of laughter, and a full release of your skill and ability as a player. Sure, sometimes pure focus and determination will win you games, but I guarantee that it won’t be as fun or enjoyable as going on a win streak where the highlights of the game were all the quips and comebacks of ridiculousness between teammates and friends. I love letting out the laughter over the headset, and it’s so contagious when you hear it that it cycles endlessly.

I’ll never understand why people feel the need to suppress their laughter at all times. I mean, I understand where that odd defence mechanism comes from, usually, but I’ve always thought that if someone can let out their laughter to it’s full potential, it will basically break them out of that shell of needing to keep it all inside.

Let it out. Laugh like a maniac at funny things or even just mildly funny things. Sometimes it’s fun force the laughter, because before you know it, you start laughing for real at the insanity of it all. Often times, those quiet, abdominal muscle building laughs come from some of the most simple things observed and escalated into a riot of laughs. I remember laughing so hard at a dinner one time because of a stupid build-up of ridiculous things we should use as a tip for our servers (full wallets and ID cards and candles included in the absurdity…but don’t worry, we gave them a real tip.)

Laughter makes everything better. Laugh at yourself, too. It’s an awesome way to brush off any negative feelings. Laugh it up.

– Mickey

Your job doesn’t have to be work.

I’ve always believed that when it comes to what you do for a living, it should be something you love doing. As the adage goes, “do what you love and love what you do.” For me, this has meant everything, especially since finishing university a few years ago. At school there was a set out structure. You may have been in a program that you love or that you ended up hating, but either way, everything you did was a singular means toward and end that was meant to open up a world of opportunities for you. Ideally, you completed a program in a field for which you hold great passion and love, and the hope is that you land jobs that continue to stoke that flame.

We all know that’s the dream. But it’s also well-known that the dream doesn’t always play out the way we hope it does. Especially in a field where it’s difficult to keep up consistent work without a bit of luck and a lot of good timing, it can be a bevy of dry spells that come your way before you catch a break. I have friends who now do things almost completely unrelated to the degree or diploma they received from post-secondary education, and have barely thought about pursuing what they once pursued. Some of them seem neutral about it; they neither love nor hate what they do, but they do it because it supports their lifestyle and it’s stable. Others, however, absolutely love what they do, even if it has nothing to do with their education. They fell in love with this new profession they’ve discovered for themselves and their prospering in all sense of the word.

And that’s how I operate. Now, I am still pursuing the career I set out to pursue before high-school (albeit with a bit of a different twist on it with the incorporation of music as my main ingredient) but I love what I do. Even the side jobs that I have to take in order to support the dream are jobs that I don’t see as work. Yes, I’m working, but it’s never a tedious affair. I really love what I do in all the jobs that I do, and that’s a sign that I’m doing the right thing. For one of my side jobs, I’ve put in a “rolling resignation”, in that I’ve agreed to stay on board until a replacement is found or until the end of our usual annual cycle. It’s mostly the commute that pushed me to this decision — it’s a few towns over in rush-hour traffic, directly into the sunlight, making for a tiring drive — but I’ve also been there for 9 years and want to base myself completely in Toronto. A little bit, though, is because it started to feel like work. It started to feel like a job. And when that starts to happen, it’s an immediate red flag for me that I should be looking to move on to the next thing, whatever it may be.

Your job doesn’t have to feel like work. It can be fun. It can be something you love. It can be something you look forward to everyday, even if the hours might be a little early or a little late for your liking sometimes. I believe that when you start to consistently dread going to your job, then it’s time for a change. I know it’s not easy. I know sometimes it’s just not possible. But you have to try because your own health and mental stability depend on it. You’re never really stuck, just stalled. And eventually, you’ll make your way out.

But that’ll only happen if you try. Do what you love and love what you do. Settle for nothing less. (And get me this shirt.)

– Mickey

The anticipation of a working day off.

I don’t know about you, but there are some days off that I look forward to solely because I know that I can get a lot done by not being committed to a work shift. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy actual days off where I can relax and pretty much do nothing. I love those days, and having at least one of those every two weeks, if not every week, definitely contributes to my ability to not stress over things most of the time. I get compliments, followed by questions, about how I can keep cool and composed in situations that seem really intense and overwhelming, and I usually tell people that having a real regular day off to relax, reflect, and meditate can work wonders for your stress levels and your focus.

But sometimes, there are those days off where the errand list comes first and working hard throughout the day to make that list disappear is all you can think about from the moment you’re done your work shift the day before. That’s me, right now, writing this post. There a lot of things that I want to do on my day off to the point that it’s not really a day off. It’s more of a day focused on my own “work” as opposed to being on the clock for someone else.

Grocery shopping, laundry, going to the bank, washing the car, cleaning my room, cleaning the garage, cleaning the house, cleaning everything. These are the types things I look forward to on these working days off. And for me, I always try to aim to get these things done early in the day so that I can have some actual time to power off and just read, or catch up on my favourite shows and movies, or play video games and just relax. Usually, I’ll find time to play some piano or guitar, maybe write some songs, but I have to be careful (not really) to make sure that I don’t too carried away and turn it into work (which never happens because when I work on music, it never feels like work, which is why I’m trying to make a sustainable career out of it).

And on that day before (which is today) I get excited thinking about the working day off. It’s got a tinge of the night before Christmas excitement mixed in with the feeling you get after finishing your Christmas shopping (or to go even further, the feeling after you’ve finished wrapping said presents). You star the day pumped up and ready to go, and once it’s all done, it feels like such an accomplishment. A productive day off is one of the most rewarding experiences. It’s as if you conquered laziness and lethargy and climbed a mountain and planted your flag.

And to reward yourself after, I would encourage you to have an actual day off the next time you have a day off. Spend time with the family, go for a walk or a bike ride, or just sleep-in and watch TV in bed all day. Remember, balancing work and life is more than just balancing your time at your job and your time at home. The time you make for yourself to relax and reflect is a real indication of that balance. Plan it in your schedule. You are not your job and it isn’t everything.

Enjoy your days off, working or otherwise.

– Mickey